Dont call it a renaissance.
Or some mid-career, midlife metamorphosis.
The actress is doing what shes always done: dominate.
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We do like to make it groovy in here, Nikki says, proudly surveying her handiwork.
You go to other places and its boring.
We like to make it colorful and happy.
This gal, it quickly becomes clear, is no mere mortal.
She is decidedly not like us.
She, to quote an instantly iconic line from her stellar 2023Black Mirrorepisode, is Salma Fucking Hayek.
When I assure her that a cold from a screen legend would be quite the flex, she laughs.
Then theyre going to think that we made out, she deadpans, before flashing me a grin.
The headlines are so depressing.
Lets give them something to talk about!
Yes, thats also her voicing the feisty feline, Kitty Softpaws, in thePuss In Bootsfranchise.
My publicist actually went and told the press [about this historical achievement], she says.
Nobody wrote about it.
I wont complain about anything that I havent tried to change, Hayek Pinault says.
Somebody has to do it.
In her 2024 HBO special, comedian Nikki Glaser riffed about the challenges of aging as a female celebrity.
Hollywoods not kind to older women, Glaser declared, if youre sagging, theyre gagging.
Historically this may have been true, and yet that appears tofinally be changing.
Take Kidman, who at 57 is causing five-alarm fires in erotic thrillers.
Or Ralph, who was 66 when she took home Emmy gold for her role onAbbott Elementary.
Although Im still sexy and I embrace it.
We should battle that with all weve got.
During the several hours were together, Hayek Pinault rarely sits down.
Im very flexible, she says proudly.
And I still do all of my own stunts.
Look at this chartyoure going to be blown away, she says.
Me: $3,000,000,925.
Shes setting the record straight.
It would be easy for Hayek Pinault to rest on her laurels, to lean into a champagne-and-beluga-caviar life.
It quickly becomes clear, however, that an idle existence is not for her.
Gucci jacket; Boucheron ring
The unrelenting star is driven by something she calls anger that comes with pleasure.
By which she means, I see something from the beginning and Im certain about it.
Its a vision of something and nobody else is seeing it.
So, its an anger that comes with a pleasure to prove them wrong, she explains.
All this business talk has made Hayek Pinault peckish.
I want quesadillas, she declares.
Do you want quesadillas?
I do, of course.
When a film is successful, the credit goes to the man.
The girl is just the girl.
Female co-stars only get credit when the movie fails, she argues.
I do have an audience and they go see me.
But Ive never gotten credit for the audience I bring into the cinema.
Reactions to her perceived effrontery ranged from who do you think you are to how dare you she recalls.
Trumping egos, her rebuttal was firmly rooted in her lived experience.
The studio, the producers, the director and Matthew are all white men, she says.
This character is a Mexican woman.
Im sorry, you guys have no clue.
Nobody thinks its going to work, she recalls.
She was vindicated when more than 16 million viewers tuned in for the premiere episode in 2006.
I dont blame them for not wanting to do it, she says.
I was asking for the moon.
Hayek Pinault takes pride in recounting her war stories, of which there are many.
Again, risk-averse suits didnt think it could resonate with a wider audience.
It was a saga, she says, sighing deeply.
That story could be three books.
Does she still have to fight to get projects made?
Even after such a track record of success?
Like a mad dog, she says.
Nevertheless, she persists.
Im one stubborn son of a bitch.
I know whats going to work.
So, I go, and I go, until I find someone that finally sees it too.
No one curses quite like Hayek Pinault.
Naughty words mellifl uously tumble out of her mouth like delightful little oral grenades.
I have the best teacher: Samuel L. Jackson, she says.
Hes [played] my husbandtwice.
After those movies my vocabulary changed.
I [couldnt] get rid of Sonia.
My husband was like, How long is she going to stay?
I said, I dont fucking know.
Who the fuck cares.
Whats your fucking hurry?
Callate, pendejo (shut up, asshole) should do the trick, she advises.
Hayek Pinaults joie de vivre is infectious and time in her company is anything but dull.
She adds, Because what do we do with our bodies?
Our only connection to our body is to complain.
Why are you tired?
Why dont you go to sleep?
Why are you sleepy?
Why are you hungry?
Why are you fat?
Why are you horny?
Why are you not horny?
Why are you hurting?
Bitch, do you notice what youre doing to me?
To live otherwise is setting yourself up for disappointment.
Take sex, for example.
A lot of women are making love already with a transaction in their head.
I hope he loves me more after this.
Is he really into me?
Has he noticed my cellulite?
Its like, Dont think, girl!
Be in the moment!
Explore another human being.
Learn yourself through another human being exploring you.
Get out of the way!
Get out of the way of love!
Whats the key to maintaining a successful personal or professional relationship?
Knowing how to quarrel, she offers.
I never enter a discussion to prove that Im right.
I go into conflict to solve, she says.
Whose fault is it?
it’s possible for you to spend hours on that and solve nothing.
Advice that perhaps youll only get from Hayek Pinault in these pages.
I write everything by hand.
I have papers everywhere.
I barely touch the phone.
They cannot profile me, she says.
I dont buy online.
I dont order food online.
The artificial intelligence doesnt know me.
A gym doesnt know her either.
Four times a year, I put music on and walk on my own treadmill, she says.
Dont ask me to run; my boobs are not made for that.
Shes content with the current state of her curvesnot thrilled, but content, she states.
She clasps her hands in prayer and tilts her head towards the heavens.
Oh, yo, Lord Jesus, give it back to me.
Nobody wants charity, she says.
They just want an environment where they can have a dignified life.
Justice should be about that.
Its a worldview she continues to instill in her family.
Ive sat with refugees in a tent and had tea with them.
And Ive sat in Buckingham Palace with the Queen.
I have that spectrum, and I make a run at give it to my children.
Hayek Pinault has a slew of new projects on the horizon.
Shes also just finished writing her first feature (Its meaningful.
It has a great rhythm.
I think Ive earned the right after 25 years of doing it for others, she says.
My brain, its a machine gun of ideas.
I have too many.
So that will never stop.
And why would she?
A woman of Hayek Pinaults age is just getting started.
From perfectly placed cutouts to just-right fabrics, this season’s best focus on working smarter, not harder.
Thanks to a rise of menopause makeovers, you dont have to.
