“I realized that where I was going had never been gone before.
I needed to stop trying to define what this was.”
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InExit Interview,Marie Claire has a candid conversation with someone who has just left their job.
In our inaugural column, we touch base with professional athlete Alexi Pappas.
Marie Claire: What was the reason for your sort of exit?
Alexi Pappas:I still love running.
I also have curiosities elsewhere.
It was a personal best.
It was a national record.
It felt like the experience that I hoped to have.
I had the post-Olympic depression after that in a way that was life threatening.
I actually had to stop at that point for a while.
Then, developing this pursuit of the arts was when I found joy again in life.
I still run, it just looks different.
You just have to leave the career behind as in the form that it was in.
MC: How did you decide what the next opportunity would be?
AP:My goal is to have a sustainable career in the arts.
It’s not a hobby for me.
It’s something that I want to do in a real way.
I’m moving toward television for that reason because it’s a lot of hard work.
For me it was like transitioning from juggling two careers to actually making them cohesive.
I am a jock in Hollywood and it is a strength.
That has become a way to stand out and tell stories that actually are uniquely told by me.
MC: What did you love most about being a competitive athlete?
I felt that I was in the right place at the right time when I was there.
I felt my time was well spent because I trusted in that environment.
I loved the team.
I wasn’t always going to be the best.
I was going totrymy best and that was a great place to try my best.
MC: What did you hate the most about being a competitive athlete?
AP:I hated feeling very high maintenance around a lot of people.
I think the difficult part was the inflexibility.
MC: How did it feel to make that decision to exit from being a competitive athlete?
You asked me,what are you now?I’m like, do I say actor?
Do I say director?
Do I say I’m doing all those things?
The answer is not as easy to feed people.
It’s not a sandwich, right?
It’s more like a plate of mushy food.
It was super hard because a lot of my income started out being dependent on performance.
It wasn’t as much about what people will think of me, it was will I survive?
But then I realized that where I was going had never been gone before.
I needed to stop trying to define what this was.
I am completely feral.
Sometimes I deal with it the same way that I deal with my changing body.
I weighed 108 pounds at the Olympics.
I’m much bigger now.
I’m choosing this because I’m not running 120 miles a week.
I believe in the life I’m choosing.
MC:Was there anyone who you turned to for advice during that time?
I also have two physiotherapists.
I also have had mental health support.
My doctor saved my life when I was post-Olympic depressed.
I talk to him every other week and he helps me.
AP:That winners lose.
Losing is normal, losing is part of it, its okay to have losses.
Don’t frame it into this negative thing, get used to losing.
AP:When you are going through your exit, think about it as an evolution.
The world will be here for it.
The world will get on board with it, but you have to lead that ship.
That’s what I learned when I was going through my depression: actions then thoughts, and feelings.
It’s not gonna feel great to exit, it’s not gonna feel great to evolve.
Focus on your actions, which will guide your thoughts, which will eventually change your feelings.
Lastly, give yourself a window of time.
That can really hamstring their ability to grow.
MC:In what ways do you think the competitive running space could improve?
There’s a word in Greek that means good competition.
It means you wish everybody to do their best.
And you will also try your best.
It’s like integrity.
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