Middle age can be a time of huge change: career shifts, empty nests, relationship transformations.
For some, sharing a space with a housemate can be a welcome salve.
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The space had big windows, purple walls, and soft pink carpets.
On the other end of the apartment lived Tracy* and Andy.
That was years ago.
Their finances had changed.
The extra money would help, but having someone around is also justnice.
I like my space, and I like to share it, she tells me.
That this is overlooked is perhaps, in part, intentional.
Getting roommates is a rite of passage for adolescents; losing them is a rite of passage into adulthood.
Solo living, especially in cities, is aspirational; it communicates a degree of self-reliance and financial stability.
Unaffordable housing feels like a tenet of American life, and that isnt unique to Millennials or Gen Z.
In some places, like California, that number nearly doubles.
It started off as a financial boon for Allison Cook.
The 57-year-old has lived in her four-bedroom house in Bostons Jamaica Plain neighborhood for 30 years.
She found that her two-story house was conducive to guests.
Cook has privacythe sanctuary of her bedroom converted out of a garretand so do her housemates.
She recalls playing cards until late at night on a double date with a former roommate.
Sharing a Clinique lipstick with another.
Telling one that her collection of driftwood was becoming a safety hazard.
There was that time her housemate took too many edibles.
She gravitates towards intellectuals: I dont feel like they need to occupy much [physical] space.
They have space in their head.
But for Cook, and others, there are benefits to having a roommate that go beyond the money.
Roommates can be a welcome balm to that malaise.
When a roommate hosted a party at Cooks house, she took the backseat.
The experience also feels deeply meaningful, she adds.
I like learning from people.
I think its this notion of solidarity with the human race.
For some, the advantages are even greater.
Linda Williams lives with housemates at the beach in Sarasota, Florida.
Something shes done for the past 17 years.
Since starting house sharing, Williams says her quality of life has improved.
I have more to look forward to, she says.
My health has improved.
I feel companionship and connection.
Plus, the extra money helps.
This was something Gale, 71, who owns a three-bedroom house in Los Angeles has encountered.
We were real roommates, she says.
The friendship sort of shifted from my son to me.
When she moved out, Gale stayed the course; she needed the money.
But she made the mistake of posting for roommates on Craigslist.
A musician looking for a crash pad wandered in.
It wasnt a fit.
To be fair, Gale doesnt consider herself a great roommate, either.
Theres a lot of clutter, she says.
Most points of friction come down to the refrigerator.
Gale abides by the one-a-week grocery shop while her Millennial housemates fill the fridge with styrofoam takeout.
COVID was also a stressor: her then-roommate still worked in-person, meanwhile Gale was more isolated.
And at times, she feels unsure about her living arrangement.
Now that shes retired, shes home more, and her family comes over for weekly visits.
Its not like Im going to ask my roommate for permission to have my grandkids over, she says.
Jayne Ehrlichwho calls herself a Boomer-in-Chiefis working on one called Boomer Roomers.
Compatibility is based on a 25-question survey.
I’ve talked to so many people, some offering their homes and some needing homes, says Ehrlich.
In Los Angeles, one of eight counties studied,nearly halfof unhoused people are over 50.
The data is very clear, says Connor Timmons, the executive director of HomeShare Vermont.
Aging in place is a healthier choice.
Individuals do better when aging in place.
Its an opportunity for people who still want to get everything they can out of life.
Last year, the organization facilitated 70 matches in Vermont.
In 2023, their homeshare applications increased by 35 percent.
Wright had two housemates over the summer: a professor at a nearby college and an opera singer.
Im hoping to stay in my home for as long as possible, she says.
Ive had it for almost 30 years.
Its filled with memories.
Some roommate dynamics, it seems, are evergreen.
*First names are being used to protect privacy.
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