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It’s 2 p.m. on a drizzly Thursday in Hollywood, and I’m rug shopping with Kirsten Dunst.
She enjoys the coziness, even his “stinky breath.”
But then her aging beagle also woke her, needing to be let out.
“He discovered Weird Mario on YouTube.”
When you have two kids under 6, an unencumbered rug-hunting jaunt counts as an indulgence.
“Selfishly, I was just like,I want to go shopping.”
The gracious salespeople’s eyes brighten ever-so-slightly at the sight of her, but they treat her normally.
Dunst seems to want to downplay herself, too.
“I don’t spend money like that on shoes,” she says.
Dunst’s canon could (and perhaps should?)
That’s because “I haven’t worked in two years,” she says over necessary espresso.
Dunst had just portrayed a crumbling mother and wife of a ranch owner, played by Plemons.
It was demoralizing to see her options narrow; to experience firsthand Hollywood’s gender-specific ageism.
The hardest thing is being a mom and…not feeling like, I have nothing for myself.
That’s every mothernot just me."
“Do you feel thatalready?”
I ask, incredulous on her behalf and also insulted because we are the same age.
Dunst doesn’t blink.
“Yes,” she replies.
“That’s why I didCivil War.”
“Kirsten is just a first class actor,” Garland tells me in an email.
“She has a deep level of craft, and crucially for this role, she has soul.
It’s in her eyes, and her gaze, which felt perfect for a photographer.”
“I remember hearing them practice an explosion.
Another dramatic scene set in the White House hit disturbingly close to home.
The film got under Dunst’s skin, as merely watching it did mine.
She “had PTSD for a good two weeks after.
I remember coming home and eating lunch and I felt really empty.”
As number-one on the call sheet, Dunst led on-screen and off, according to the director.
“Kirsten is far more experienced at filmmaking than I am.
She’s been doing it longer, and has made many more movies,” Garland says.
“Working with her was often educational.
“It was a masterclass in acting ability,” Garland says.
“Gently witty, very precise, and very human.”
“He can’t win.
I honestly feel like…we just need a fresh start.
“All the countries that are led by women do so much better.”
In a rare move for a film about conflict,Civil Warcenters its female leads.
A version of that dynamic translated off-screen.
“Alex is very lucky that I’m married to…the best actor,” she laughs.
“Because we fell in love on a set, we fell in love creatively first.
I think we’ll always come back to that, in a very not-involving-our-real-life way,” Dunst says.
“And also, listen, we don’t talk to each other on set.
I left him alone, he left me alone.”
Blair Waldorf and Seth Cohen).
“I love working with him,” Dunst says simply.
“What’s nice is that we trust each other so much.
He sent me a scene last night of this miniseries he’s working on to get my opinion.
If I’m having a hard time deciding on something, I’ll have him read it.
I trust his opinion more than anyone, and he cares about me more than anyone.”
If anything, she lowers her voice again, “There are too many award shows.”
Maybe this is the gift of Dunst’s longevity: a firm sense of perspective.
Her supporting actress nod was considered long overdue, but she wonders if losing might actually serve her.
“I think it’s good to be an underdog,” Dunst says.
“If you [win] Academy Awards, sometimes it’s not always good for your career.”
(Indeed, there is a longstanding curse theory.)
For example, Dunst shrugs, “I don’t know who won last year.”
For what she really wants to domake interesting film with European directorsquality acting matters more than Oscars anyway.
“Child star” is a label so charged it borders on tragic.
Dunst is one of the few to survive it largely unscathed.
At 6, she had an uncredited role in Woody Allen’sNew York Stories.
A year later, she played Tom Hanks’s daughter inThe Bonfire of the Vanities.
Her otherVampireco-star, Tom Cruise, still sends her a coconut cake every holiday season.
(“I wish I had been a producer,” Dunst laments.)
Her younger son, James, now watches her as Mary Jane, shooting webs and all.
“It’s cute,” Dunst says.
She “loves” Zendaya, but hasn’t seen the latest incarnations.
In her spare time, “I have to go and see thePaw Patrolmovie.”
“That’s great for some people,” she says.
She could be a splashier, more celebrated name, if she wanted to be.
But in the middle of her Marvel era, Dunst veered toMarie Antoinettewith Coppola.
“I didn’t go do a bunch of romantic comedies.”
Instead, she dove into indies likeMelancholiawith director Lars von Trier.
In her late 20s, she found herself at a creative crossroads.
Together, they analyze Dunst’s dreams to help inform her characters.
The method has given Dunst a new level of confidence in her craft.
“I don’t feel nervous.
I feel at home sharing everything on set now.”
Looking back, Dunst didn’t always feel that level of comfort.
“I mean…” she exhales, pauses, then resumes speaking more softly than before.
“It was a joke, but onSpider-Man, they would call me ‘girly-girl’ sometimes on the walkie-talkie.
‘We need girly-girl’“she imitates the cloying tone"but I never said anything.”
It took time to realize her self-worth, especially as a young woman in pre-MeToo Hollywood.
“You didn’t say anything,” she says of being minimized.
“You just took it.”
“I saw the power in women very young,” Dunst says.
“I think that’s helped with…not needing male attention in my career.”
She grapples with different concerns for her career now.
In her early 40s, “no one cares” about her looks, Dunst laughs.
She’s kidding, but maybe not entirely.
“I’ve been offered a lot of roles like that,” Dunst winces.
“Honestly, it’s slightly offensive.”
Still, she’s determined to gracefully grow older in an industry that makes it feel impossible.
She’s navigating this new phase of her career alongside an immersion in mom life.
“I just don’t want to do that to him.”
ShootingCivil Warwas logistically manageable.
Her endgame is playing as a family, hence why Ennis is at his first lesson as we speak.
“I just have really good people around me,” Dunst says.
“I have good girlfriends and my mom’s fun and comes over every day.
I’m very connected to my family and I have a great husband.”
She went to a non-actor high school and has had the same core group of friends ever since.
“They’re very normal, real girls.”
“Talking about myself is torture,” she cringe-laughs.
She elicits only a few subtle glances on Beverly Boulevard before heading back to her Volvo SUV.
It demands faith, and a quiet confidence.
Dunst predicts she just may get that Oscar somedaymaybe even in the form of a lifetime achievement award.
Photography by Jonny Marlow.
Hair by Bryce Scarlett; makeup by Pati Dubroff; manicure by Lisa Kon.
This story appears in the 2024 Makers Issue of Marie Claire.
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